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Don’t Call It A Comeback

Hello.

It’s me.

**will we ever get sick of that**

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~ugly-face belts along~ OTHER SIIIIIIIDE

**nope**

Adele returned to our lives last month after 4 very long years away so, following suit with the comeback theme, !YA GURL IS BACK TO DROP SOME WITTY, WISE, & ALSO HUMBLE WIIIZDOOOMM!

I really don’t know who’s return is more exciting, tbh.

The site has been pretty quiet since July and I do apologize, my dear, dear legions of (one) fan. Completely unrelated side comment: Hey Mom!

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I do have valid reason, however, for my lengthy absence.  This gal moved her whole life to a brand new, big ole city all by herself and needed time to adjust to a new life of adulting. I couldn’t bring myself to blog about m’thoughts and feelings about all aspects of life when I was kind of confused about it all myself.  Now that I’ve had a good 5 months of reflection and growth, I thought it might be time to fill ya in on a few things I’ve learned and some giant pros to these last months of *~Kathleen time.~*

Adulting $%@*&#$ sucks.

It’s a total trap. I blame Obama. Getting a paycheck and losing 1/4 of it immediately to Uncle Sam and then another 1/4 of it to bills is a cruel, sick, heartbreaking cycle. It’s like “yeahhh!! big money i’m balliiinn’!” and then “woo ballin’…on a…budget..” *wohh wohhh*

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This is also the time you start sounding like your parents.  My mom and dad visited recently and I found myself scolding them for not turning lights off when they left the room. I was all, “When you start paying the bills, Susan, you can leave all the lights on you want!” And then I slept on the couch.

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Your bedtime/wake time gets increasingly earlier and at the end of a very long work day, you find yourself needing a wife.  I need a wife.  If I could come home to a clean apartment, finished errands, and a warm meal cooking on the stove, I’d be the happiest homegirl on this 3rd rock from the sun.  Husbands (or working wives hayy feminists), show some appreciation for your other half today. It’s so nice of them to be thinking of you all day.

Living alone forces you to really get to know yourself

Y’all I’m a slob. I’ve always suspected this and the people in my life have harped me on it for years but it really never hit me until I had nobody else to blame for the laundry on the floor. Whoopsie🙂 For the first time in my life, I can’t show faux frustration toward my family or roommates for a dirty dish or cluttered living room.

To combat my repulsiveness, I’ve become a maker of lists.  I have so.many.lists. I have become my mother.  This morning I wrote, “get gas!” on my list because had I not, I probably would’ve forgotten. I’ve heard people talk about pregnancy brain but adult brain is a real thing, too. I have to write down things like, “sweep and swiffer floors,” “pack your lunch,” “Home Goods for a platter — show restraint Kathleen!” I may be certifiably insane. Aren’t we all, though?

For the first 24 hours of being the only Queen of the Castle, I may have cried 4 or 5 times.  It was so quiet and I had nobody to tell my jokes to😥  It was a dark time, my friends. I was left to giggle at my own hilarity…which really isn’t anything new but for the first time, there was nobody there to groan at my weirdness.

Four months later, I gotta say, I LOVE being the only resident of my humble domain.  I LOVE coming home, stripping down shamelessly, putting fuzzy socks on, and downing giant bowls of pasta sans judgment. I LOVE not having unannounced guests of my roommates over and *cover your ears, kids* there’s nothing more liberating than walking around as God made ya without burning the eyes of the people around you.

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Big city = so many sources of inspiration

As many of you know, I grew up in a very laid-back, mid-size city with a raging small town mentality.  Everybody knows everybody and everybody still discusses each other years after their last interaction.  It’s a wonderfully strange place.  While in college, I lived in a smaller, arguably more laid-back town, Sweet Home College Station❤ aka the happiest place on Earth.

I loved *almost* every minute of living in both places and I miss them both all the time, however, it was difficult to grow in places where life was fairly predictable.  Houston is no New York City but when you’re used to living in places where life moves pretty slow, it feels massive and slightly overwhelming.  When I first moved, I couldn’t help but feel super isolated despite the fact that people.were.everywhere.  I felt alone in a place full of people because I hadn’t yet found out who I was in the midst of it all.  As super lame and cliche as it sounds, I needed to branch out and get out of my comfort zone in order to regain the confidence needed to grow.

Once that confidence began to grow, I found myself really living. I booked a trip to NYC to visit literally the coolest chick I know on a whim. I would never have done anything like that before but I just thought, you know what, why not? What’s holding me back from doing things that are a little outside my character and comfort zone? We take life for granted and just go about it day by day, same ole routine, and forget to LIVE. We forget to do things that are awkward and weird and uncomfortable, to eat things that are strange, to talk to people so different from us but who can learn so much from.

As soon as I started branching out, I found so many really cool people out there who are so incredibly talented and fearless. They’ve taught me, in turn, to be fearless and passionate about life. Y’all, I own a pair of leather pants now. A year ago, I would’ve never worn a pair of leather pants and now I wear them weekly. They’re the bomb. As luck would have it, even the girls I work with are literally the *~raddest~* girls I’ve ever met.  Kendra Scott has been such a blessing in my life and I know God placed me there for a reason. S/O TO MUH HOMIES!!

My faith has never been tested so strongly

Woo, Jesus. He has pushed me further and harder than He has ever before and I gotta say, I wavered here and there in the strength of my faith because I felt forgotten.  I felt confused and really, very lost, like NO GoogleMaps, NO Garmin, like where u @ God?? Turns out I needed some humbling, I needed to feel really uncomfortable in order to reach out to Him more fully than I ever had before.  Think about it.  You miss people and reach out to them the most when you feel abandoned by them.  He’s a sneaky one, God, He knows exactly how to get you where you need to be. LOVE YA J.C.

Now that Ya GuRL is back at it and probably funnier than ever, you can expect WW&H to also be back at it and definitely funnier than ever. I can’t promise more wizzdoom because I’m still working on that myself but can’t wait to hear from each and every one of ya!🙂

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peace, blessins, God Bless, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 

 

 

 

When Something Broke, We Fixed It

For years, I’ve endured ridicule for being a hopeless romantic.  Friends, family, loved ones, have rolled their eyes, breathed heavy, “oh, silly you,” sighs, and scoffed at my incurable belief in true love.

I don’t mean “romantic” in that I religiously watch The Notebook or yearn for unexpected bouquets of flowers and I certainly don’t mean “romantic” in a belief of love as an idealized view of reality.  I don’t agree with those definitions of romance.  Love, in my opinion, isn’t ideal or cinematic.  It isn’t doing nice things for each other or thinking the other is “cute” — at least I don’t think that’s the case with true love.

From the moment I watched with bated breath as Belle witnessed the unveiling of the heart the Beast had beneath his snarl, I’ve been obsessed with observing love, people who love each other, the true meaning of love, and I think I have a few things figured out.

What intrigues me most is we look at old couples who’ve been together for 50+ years with such amazement, in such awe, and ask the same questions over and over – “What’s the secret? How have y’all made it work?”

“In the time we’re from, when something broke, we just fixed it.”

Most of us have come across that quote on the good ole world wide web but I don’t think we really give it much thought.  It sounds nice, sure, two people who will literally go through anything to fix what’s broken — but when we come face to face with such a challenge, when we know we love someone but it just seems too hard, we tend not to stand up to the plate and yet, still can’t figure out why we can’t have what our grandparents have.

We live in a world of instant gratification and constant stimulation and it’s started to seep into our relationships, even friendships.  When we get bored with something, we trade it in, when something breaks, we want the Geek Squad there ASAP. When our relationships hit a lull, we convince ourselves it’s over.  When there are issues to fix, we chalk it up to incompatibility, too far gone to fix.

Love is hard.  Love is complicated.  It’s inconvenient and messy and consuming and no matter how hard we try, it doesn’t ever really go away.  We’ve all heard someone say, “well, of course I’ll always love him/her but it just wasn’t working.”

It wasn’t or you weren’t?

When “it” stopped working, did you fix it? Try to fix it? Or did you hit the power off button, go make yourself a sandwich, and chalk it up to some malfunction?

People rationalize letting people go because it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, of course, and helloooo, plenty of fish in the big ole sea, so what’s the point, right?😐 No. Wrong. We turn our noses up at couples who have issues because we’ve digested this twisted idea that true love is seamless, always romantic, solely butterflies and daisies, without conflict, free from any and all issues. We forget that we’re human and humans are messy and complicated, so the idea that two people could really, truly love each other without issues is ridiculous and naive.

I’m reminded of my favorite scene in Crazy, Stupid, Love (other than shirtless Ryan Gosling, of course).  Robbie and his dad, Cal, are throwing a baseball around when Robbie confesses to his dad that he loves a girl but alas, she doesn’t care.  “I like pringles, dad, this girl…she’s my soulmate,” to which Cal replies, “Well, she’s your soulmate, right? So, you don’t give up.” Robbie gets frustrated with his dad because he feels his dad gave up on his mom, so Cal suddenly feels inspired to not give up on Emily, his wife, the girl he bought an ice cream cone for when they were 16.

“So, I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’m going to keep trying.  Because when you find your soulmate, you never give up.”

For me, your soulmate is that one person you feel completely comfortable around. Someone who feels like home. Someone you’ll let see you at your absolute worst, your darkest, and not feel afraid they’ll think less of you or judge you. Someone you don’t hide parts of yourself from. Someone you don’t have to pretend to be someone else for because you feel so safe just being 100% yourself around them.

Your best friend.  Someone you can do anything with and laugh like you can’t laugh with anyone else but them. Someone you can actually hate so much sometimes but know you love them even more than you hate them, remarkably. Someone you know would be there no matter what and know you would be there for, no questions asked. Someone you can nag, almost enjoy nagging, someone who makes the most disgusting things, like nose-picking, somehow endearing.  Someone who’s quirks are incredibly infuriating and lovable at the same time. Your lobster.

That’s your soulmate. And I think it’s about time we stop giving up on them. Does it feel too comfortable? Like a lull? Then do something about it. Don’t neglect it and throw it away. Go get them. Stop rationalizing not trying, not putting in that effort, no matter how impossible or hard it seems, because when you work through those rough spots, the trying times, you have a huge opportunity to come out stronger on the other side. To come out like Noah and Allie, Cal and Emily, Ross and Rachel, those old couples who have been through STUFF and have stuck together.  People fall in and out and back in love with each other all the time, it’s normal. Love isn’t mean to be bubbly and feel new forever.  After some time, that newness and excitement fades, and you’re left with the deep bond and friendship and an everlasting kind of love that can be revived with a little effort, a little elbow grease. Fight for “it,” your best friend, your soulmate. It’s as simple and complicated as that.

How to Handle Your Post-Holiday Blues

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the day after Christmas ranks as the most depressing day of the entire year.  The build-up to Christmas morning has come and gone, Santa’s been there, done that, and suddenly it’s tacky to hang multicolored lights outside your home.

So you pull out boxes, take down ribbon, tinsel, and wrap up your unusually heavy lead Hermione figurine ornament *…or is that just me?…* Finally, and most heartbreakingly, you begin counting down the days until you can feast your eyes on these decorations again.

Many of you, like my family, have a Nativity Scene set up somewhere in your home as part of your festive decor.  Along with the garland and nutcrackers, the representation of the most important night on Earth gets boxed away and shoved into a dark corner of the attic.

*****prepare yourselves here comes a metaphooorrrr*****

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Literally and metaphorically, after presents have been unwrapped and family has left town, Jesus gets put back on a shelf until next December.  “Jesus is the reason for the season,” after all but shouldn’t He be the reason for every season…? When stores start to play Upbeat Holiday on their Pandora accounts and Starbucks pulls out their eggnog latte, suddenly we’re all very pro-Jesus.  Jesus trends so hard in December, it’s crazy #Jesus2015 but January rolls around and Jesus’ 15 minutes of fame are up.

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He’s not part of our lives, He’s simply an addition to our Christmas decoration.  We give him 1 day of the year, while we give ourselves the other 364.  What’s ^ with THAT?? I can only imagine the Holy Trinity sitting up there all, “I KNOW I did not forgive you people of all your sins AND starve for 40 days and nights AND die on the Cross AND send my one and only son to drop some real truth bombs for you people to give me ONE day, ONE part of your life.”

~~ How lame are we, tho? ~~

To make things more efficient, we tend to compartmentalize different areas of our lives. We have our school life, our work life, our social life, our family life, our personal life, and lastly, our religious life. Why do we compartmentalize Him to just one part of our lives when He should be part of every.single.aspect of it? Why do we only pray at night or in the morning or before we eat? Why aren’t we talking to Him all day? Why aren’t we listening all day?

Our time on earth should sort of be like an apprenticeship.  Webster’s defines an apprentice as “a person who learns a job or skill by working for a fixed period of time for someone who is very good at that job or skill.” Jesus is the most perfect Christian to have ever walked the earth, right? His “skill level,” so to speak, would definitely be labeled EXPERT. As Christians, we serve God, therefore, our time here should be a constant effort to learn from Jesus. Our time here should be spent as lifelong apprentices to the ultimate Christian.

But really #WWJD, am I RIGHT?

I know that many of you aren’t religious, some of you are super spiritual, and others are in a weird stage in their relationship with God.  The last thing I ever want to do is sound preachy or holier than thou.  I am nowhere near perfect and I, like all of us, have definitely had my slip-ups, but sometimes, things start to click in m’big ole brain and in Layman’s terms, I feel like we just gotta talk about it. It is really, very difficult to be a Christian and maintain the principles Jesus spent decades communicating, but the more you incorporate Him into your day to day life, the easier it becomes.

When you exercise once a year, your workout tends to be excruciatingly difficult and you never really get stronger.  When you exercise everyday, your muscles start to get bigger, you’re all “CHECK OUT THESE ‘CEPS!” and can start building yourself up to more difficult regimens. Same goes for Christianity.  When Christmas becomes the only time of year you really, truly recognize your Christianity, it’s really hard to keep it up the rest of the year. You become spiritually and emotionally weak, unable to handle what God throws your away because you’ve convinced yourself you can handle it all on your own, that you’re the wisest person ever and therefore know better than anyone else.

YEAH OK, BIG GUY. Or gal. Whichever.

Hit the proverbial gym. We gotta start working out our spiritual muscles. Talk to God at work, at school, when you’re out with your friends and you really need to be right with the Lord so you don’t punch them in their kneecaps. Keep Him around all the time so you can learn from Him. You just have to keep relaying back to Him when you don’t know what to do, when life just doesn’t feel right.

I think that’s the only we get better.  It’s the only way we learn how to be kind to people who are maybe not so kind, how to be selflessly generous just because we want to bring happiness to people, how to right wrongs, or how to struggle to forgive someone, sometimes without an apology. It takes practice. It’s tough, my friends, but I’m feelin’ like for an eternity in heaven, it’s prooobably worth it. Take Him off the shelf and invite Him to be part of your everyday life! The party don’t start ’til JC walk in.

God Bless and Happy New Year!

“Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

When You Meet Someone Too Soon: Guest Post

Guest Post Saturday!!! 



That’s actually not a thing but Elite Daily has surprised us once again with an article that doesn’t completely suck.  We hear a lot that people “aren’t ready” for certain relationships and most of the time we chalk it up to “he’s just not that into you.” Well, this here guest post explains it from the point of view of the unready and it makes some measure of sense.

The question, or conundrum, with it lies in “well, what’re you gonna do about it?” 

Read on and thanks for not sucking so much, Elite Daily!!
The Struggles Of Meeting The Right Person 10 Years Too Soon
Have you ever met the right person 10 years too soon? Have you ever been hit by the incredibly rare fist of love at the direly wrong time?
Have you ever met someone who attained the ability to knock the wind out of you, who blew you away — but you just weren’t quite yet ready to exhale into the arms of true, real love just quite yet?
Have you ever met the “right” person, the person whom you could clearly visualize the great, vast vista of your future with?
The one person whose dreams are perfectly cohesive with your dreams, the person who brings out the very best in your complicated and dynamic personality and, on top of it all, the person whom you are undeniably, irrepressibly, die-hard-sexually attracted to?
The person who deeply understands you, not in a superficial way but comprehends the very core of who you are.
The person who has the ability to see right through your web of bullsh*t, your protective outer layer, your sky-high walls of brick and steel.
The person who understands where your pain is derived from and accepts the myriad of flaws you can’t help but endlessly bestow upon the world.
The person who embraces the screw-ups and dysfunctions of your f*cked-up brain, even the really bad parts that drive almost everyone who has been close to you away.
That one person who makes you finally feel unconditionally loved. The person who makes you feel something so unfamiliar: safe.
The person you know would never, ever, not in a million trillion years want to intentionally hurt you.
Suddenly, you found your other half, the one and only person your usually notoriously dark and slyly cynical self has ever imagined perhaps marrying…
Only it’s 10 years too soon, and you’re just not ready for all that.
Because you still have so much bad left within you.
So many sins you’re still fueled with the desire to salaciously indulge in, so many adventures you want to embark on solo, so many new lips to taste, so many bodies to sexually devour, so many f*ck-ups to still get out of your system.
You’re in your 20s. You’re still self-destructive and okay with it (in fact, you enjoy it). You’re not ready to settle down and be civilized.
Because you’re young. And free. And way too deep of a tender age to find a soulmate.
A soulmate isn’t on your current agenda. Your career, and your friends and your wild, insatiable adventures are your focus.
You still have so much living to do, as an independent force of nature. You know you’re not in a stable enough place for a relationship. This just wasn’t supposed to happen.
But that’s life isn’t it? As much as we fiercely attempt to control the timing of everything, we can’t.
We can’t schedule the convenient time to fall in love.
There are so many complicated, hellish feelings that overtake your being when you meet the right person… 10 years too soon.

You’re always teeming with anxiety



So you’ve met this wonderful, outrageously perfect person — but you just don’t want a relationship. You’re riddled with epic heaps of anxiety — what if you never meet someone so amazing again?
What if this is it? What if you screw it up and die alone because you pushed away your one shot at true love?
But at the same time, you relentlessly fear wasting your precious youth shackled to a partner.
These are the years when you’re allowed to be reckless, for soon you will be in the place where the incessant one-night stands and weekly whiskey blackouts just won’t be cute anymore.
Soon you will have a real life, adult responsibilities and might not be free to hop a plane and impulsively fly to an exotic location just because you felt like it.
You’re damned if you do and f*cked if you don’t. You actually feel things for this person, and you’re not used to it.
You’re not used to feeling vulnerable to another person. You’re not used to caring for another entity more than yourself.
You feel utterly panicked by the prospect of losing yourself to another person yet terrified by the prospect of losing this person. Forever.
The result is endless anxiety that cuts so deep, a Xanax can’t even calm your fluttering heart.

You wish you could lock this person in a box for the next decade.



If only you could put this person on pause. You know he or she will be the perfect partner for you, once you’re ready for all of that relationship stuff.
You know this person will give you the life you absolutely deserve, provide you with a stable, loving relationship and be a great parent to the children you will one day produce.
If only you could put this person in a little box for the next decade so he or she won’t go anywhere (or fall in love with someone else) while you go off being young and self-destructive.

You try your hardest to push this person away



It’s easy to break up with someone when you don’t love him or her.
After all, you’ve never struggled to end a relationship in the past — so why, dear WHY is this so hard? What are these feelings you’re suddenly experiencing?
So you unconsciously do everything in your power to push this person away, to make it easier on the both of you.
I mean, if he or she breaks up with you, then it’s out of your control, right? You can throw up your hands and give up.
If you act like a complete horror, an absolute sh*t show, then this person will surely break it off, and then you won’t have to choose between your relationship and your blooming solitary youth, right?
The screwed up part of this screw-up method is if it’s indeed the right person, it (usually) doesn’t work.
That’s the trouble with someone getting you: He or she sees past your bullsh*t — this person knows what you’re doing and won’t let you get away with it.



You unfairly resent this person and hate yourself because of it.
The resentment sets in. You love them. You don’t want to be in love. You hate this person and yourself for it.
You’re fueled with the ugly trait of resentment. You resent the fact that your lover is so mind-blowingly incredible, so deeply understanding, so perfect for troubled little you.
You resent that he or she swooped into your safe, lonely orbit and made you feel this weird warm thing called love when you were so happy and content being a selfish, destructive individual.
You resent that this person is exposing all the parts of yourself you have worked so desperately to hide from the outer world.
You resent that you showed this person who you really are, and you resent that this person still loves you even though he or she knows the dark parts of you.
Mostly, you resent this person because he or she took your power away. You finally have something to lose, and it scares the living sh*t out of you. So, what’re you gonna do? 

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It’s Worth All the Trouble

Hell hath frozen over. Pigs are falling straight out of the clouds, gaining traction, and taking right off into the sky. 

Elite Daily has posted an article that isn’t ridiculous. AT LAST. In today’s guest post, I’ve featured a little something that isn’t about blowing all your money on traveling or hooking up with the guido at the bar. It’s an important little blurb on well, life and lobsters, I suppose. Enjoy! 

Why It’s Worth All The Trouble  
I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I’ve found they tend to be simple at their cores, but we complicate matters when we’re in them.
We’ve all experienced friends telling us complicated stories about things that are not right in their relationships, but in the same breath, they tell us how devastatingly in love they are with their partners.

In the next breath, however, they tell us they’re not sure they’re meant to be together forever.

They tell us that though they love their partners so much, they sometimes worry. They question their feelings.

They tell us story after story, some of which leave us believing they’re meant to be, and several that leave us questioning why they ever got together in the first place.

When we recount these stories, we tend to think they’re simple. We tell others they met at the wrong time, or they’re just not right for each other at this very moment.

Perhaps, some day in the future, they’ll become the right people for one another. Just not now.

We tell people they’re just too different, and from our perspective, this seems to be very clear. We can see where things unravel, why their fights last until dawn breaks and why each person is just too tired to keep things going.

Despite this perceived clarity, we watch them try. We see them struggle, fight after fight, with each tear as a painful reminder of another.

The lyrics of one of Billie Holiday’s most famous song offers an explanation that many have come to accept:

“All who love are blind… smoke gets in your eyes.”

But, is the intensity of love creating a smoke of emotion that clouds our perception of the truth?

We think the truth is there, and present each time we have that same fight. It’s there each time we cry those hopeless tears. It’s there each time we go to sleep angry, unsure of whether we’ll ever find a resolution.

Our feelings for the other person and the good times we can’t get out of our heads complicate the situation.

These memories become the gel that keeps us glued to the person we fought so hard to keep. Time after time, we think we see the truth — we weren’t meant to be — and it eats at us.

Like drowning sailors desperate to stay afloat, we cast line after line, hoping one of them will finally catch. We’re in love.

We’ve never felt this way before about anyone. When push comes to shove and the relationship comes to a breaking point, we miss the other person with an intensity of emotion we never knew existed.

We are desperate and we are lost. Pain like this shouldn’t be experienced, we think to ourselves. Pain like this is unreal. In the words of Jeanette Winterson,

“Why is the measure of love loss?”

I don’t think we realize what the truth is and what it has been this entire time: The world has never been perfect, and it never will be.

We think things will always work out how we want, if we just try hard enough, and it simply isn’t true.

The world can be inexplicably brutal at times, without reason. An idea I think many idealistic minds were raised to believe is if you do your very best, the world will treat you fairly.

Our struggle to maintain that belief is what keeps us in this constant struggle for perfection. With that constant struggle and belief comes inevitable disappointment and frustration.

Much of our pain and disillusionment comes from that very expectation. Two unique, beautiful and intelligent people, who have very different ideas about how their lives will turn out, have a very small chance of agreeing on everything.

We don’t spend enough time thinking about what a miracle it is when you find someone to love. It is a greater miracle indeed, when the person your heart desires wants you back just as fervently.

I recall how difficult it was to find someone who made me feel like I finally found the person for whom I’d been searching. When that person fell in love with me, I remember thinking about how lucky I was to be with the one I dreamed about at night.

The probability of one person’s affections being matched by another was, in my opinion, infinitesimal, and I genuinely felt like the stars had suddenly aligned. I was pretty damn lucky, I thought, and I wasn’t about to let that luck get away from me.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up on a Sunday morning next to the love of your life, and you smile simply because you’re so happy he or she is next to you?

That feeling you get when you’re dancing with someone in your living room and you feel like you could die in his or her arms as the happiest person on the planet? That doesn’t come around very often.

In fact, I’d venture to say it might only happen once or twice in a lifetime.

I’ve found that many tend to take love for granted. One too many disagreements, and they tell themselves they’ll just hop back on OkCupid and find another love.

What I don’t think we spend enough time thinking about is the fact that our lives are very short.

Life will never be perfect, and it won’t always play out in ways we expect. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can make the best of what we’re given. And, in this imperfect world, the greatest thing we can do is lead lives that are lived passionately.

When you find a love that feels like the best thing you’ve ever had, one that makes you pinch yourself because you can’t believe your luck, hold onto it with everything you have.

I know when I leave this Earth, I would rather have died trying to live my life as a beautiful mess, rather than simply as an acceptable expectation.

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.” — Unknown

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The 1 Peter 3 Gal & True Beauty

This post tonight is primarily for the ladies but gentlemen, I strongly encourage you to sit back and peruse because what would any gentleman be without a good lady by his side? We hear a lot about the Proverbs 31 woman — how she is kind and noble, strong and moral — and we often quote the notable verse, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” I myself am quite a fan of Proverbs 31; I’ve painted it on a canvas in the most “basic” of ways and have had it as the lock screen on my phone, however, there’s another passage I think may deserve a bit more attention.tumblr_nqdubfqbaJ1rxrw0no1_1280

As females, we tend to put a lot of weight into our outer appearance and not without good reason. It feels really good to walk out of the house like you’re about to take over the world *~feeling yourself~*, your outfit, allowing the resounding click-clack from your heels hitting the pavement inspire Beyonce level bada**ness.  When you feel pretty, you feel confident, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. A problem starts to arise, though, when outer beauty becomes synonymous with true beauty.

Chapter 3 of 1 Peter pretty much sums up how to appeal to a man through your true beauty but even if you take the man aspect out of it, it still drops some pret-ty good wisdom on how beauty should exist on the inside.

I KNOW, I KNOW *eye roll* I may have lost a couple of you there with the “it’s what’s on the inside that counts” shpeal we all heard from our mothers as we endured our awkward stages but just bear with me for just a minute.  I promise this won’t be a cheesy middle school counselor soap box rant.

“So that even if some [men] do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of a woman, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  Do not let your adorning be external – the fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s eyes is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:2-4

tumblr_mn2nxzzdh61rhf41zo1_500Alrighty, so what do we have here? Well first, that even my boy Peter saw that men are hopeless without a good woman. Am I right, ladies? *~~GURL POWER~~*  More seriously though, we see a general outline for how we should judge our own beauty.  I bolded imperishable because I think it is so important to highlight the fact that a beauty that lies in a gentle and quiet spirit will never fade, i.e. imperishable. Today, you may have a beautiful smile, rockin’ bod, legs for days, but unless you’re Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep, those things won’t last forever.  Someday, you’ll have wrinkles and cellulite and gray hair and if you put all your value in the “fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes,” then, essentially, you’ll be worthless.

Yikes. Harsh. What I mean is simply that beauty fades, outwardly, at least, but if you pay more attention to your inner beauty, it’ll last a lifetime.  When your husband turns over in the night and opens his eyes to look at his wife, he won’t see the hot girl he fell in love with years and years ago, but he WILL see the kind, loving, gentle woman he chose to “do life with,” so to speak.

I’m sure we’ve all heard people say something along the lines of, “She’s really pretty but she’s such an ugly person that I can’t see her as a really pretty girl,” right? It’s a sad thing to hear because outer beauty is so much more temporary than inner beauty.  Girlfriends, you KNOW how painstakingly annoying it gets to groom your eyebrows, shave your legs, get a decent haircut, find the right blush color, buy an outfit that fits your budget AND your body type, etc., etc., etc. The list never ends and before you know it, it’s time to do the whole process all over again!

Grooming your heart, though, isn’t nearly as expensive, first of all, and second of all, once you make the change to become a beautiful person before being a pretty girl, that beauty has the potential to literally last a lifetime without putting a hole in your Kate Spade wallet.

Now, I know many of you put the effort into your outward beauty to garner the attention from one specific, or maybe multiple, “fellows.” I hear ya.  There’s no crime in wanting to put in the extra effort to show your guy(s) of choosing that you care about seeing them enough that you want to look nice for the occasion.  I’ve done it myself, it’s “NBD,” as they say these days. That said, take it from me when I say nothing, no compliment on your physical appearance, comes anywhere CLOSE to when your guy of choosing compliments who you are as a person.  When he says, “You’re the kindest person I know,” it will never, ever come close to when he says, “You look really pretty.”  Not that that isn’t a nice compliment and duh, of course we like to hear it, so definitely keep saying it, gentlemen, but throw in a thing or two about who she is as a person.  It feels so, so incredibly good to hear it.  MAJOR brownie point opportunity there.

Finally, 1 Peter 3:8 tell us to have sympathy, love each other, hold on to a tender heart, and a humble mind.  This part, folks, is for the boys and the girls.  The world outside tends to harden our hearts and make us feel like we have to ice over.  It’ll make us selfish and jealous, angry and discouraged and that’s just not okay.  We’re better than that. Under the hardened heart and ice, we’re a kind bunch of people, us humans.  I’m often ridiculed for being tender hearted because people see it as weakness or a trait easily taken advantage of but as a woman of Christ, it’s my duty to emulate Christ as much as humanly possible. *insert trendy shrug emoji*  When we obey the Word of God, He tends to fight our battles for us, which is pretty neat, if you ask me.  It’s always a nice feeling to know someone else is going up to bat for you.

SO, in conclusion you beautiful, beautiful people, keep in mind how important your inner beauty truly is and fall for someone who sees that inner beauty, who loves that inner beauty.  More importantly though, cultivate that inner beauty for yourself.  Be gentle, be kind, be humble, and put on love above all things.

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer.  But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” – 1 Peter 3:10-13 

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Where Have All the Grand, Sweeping Love Stories Gone?

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*Le sigh*

Exhibit A and B here are examples of a very sad, pathetic devolution in romantic relationships, courting, talking, dating, hooking up, or WHATEVER your preferred term is for relations between two individuals who may have feelings for each other.

I went a little crazy at Barnes & Noble the other day and splurged on a $9.89 clearance item entitled, Royal Love Stories: The tales behind the real-life romances of Europe’s kings & queens. I know what you’re thinking. It’s as if Gill Paul was sitting at home one day, pondering his next literary work and thought, “Kathleen Sportsman is a romantic, she’s unhealthily obsessed with royal families, and she likes to read…. AHA! ZUT A LA! I shall write her a book that combines all three!”

Or some version of that, I imagine.  Anyway, while reading the sweeping tales of sacrifice, love, and romance, I tried to picture Napoleon Bonaparte, Tsar Nicholas II, and Shah Jahan texting the loves of their lives as we do today.  I struggled to imagine them honking their car horn to signal to their beloved it was time to emerge from their front door and into their stallion wagon.  I strained, in such painful vain, to hear them utter such sweet nothings as, “Sup? You look good girl,” and “Wanna chill later or sumthin?”

Now, I recognize these great men fell in love centuries before even landline phones were invented, however, I couldn’t help but wonder as I read these heart-wrenching tales, “What the actual heck happened to all of the grand, sweeping love stories?” Who’s to blame here? I understand as time goes on, society progresses in many ways.  Medicine and technology have improved to save millions more lives, higher education is more widely available, women can show their ankles without fear of the guillotine, yet, it is my belief that despite all of these impossibly grand improvements, we’ve seemed to regress when it comes to love and relationships.

But WHY? Ten-Best-3

How is it that Beethoven could write, “Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all” but today, if you get a text reading, “Saw you at the bar. You looked hot,” you’re supposed to faint in utter disbelief such a suitor could possibly look your way? **googly eyes**

Please.

Let us dissect, shall we? First, these great men were separated from their loves by thousands of miles, wars, maybe even disease.  Lifespans weren’t very long in those days so the impending clock may have been ticking in their minds forcing them to realize this love was going to be short-lived.  The female body was revered rather than pixelated and filtered.  A woman to love was seen as a treasure, not an entitlement.

You couldn’t hop on your computer, readjust your man parts, and after a few clicks, be face to screen with a naked, ready-made, take-what’s-yours woman object of the web.  I suppose you could have entered a brothel but to do so would bring great shame to your family, which meant something in those days.

I guess we can deduce the lack of romance existing today as a result of a lack of the appropriate circumstances needed to induce real, all-consuming, can’t bear to be without you love. We can give up on relationships because there are so many, many options out in the world. It’s not hard to find fillers when we can pull up Tinder or Hinge or Grinder or WHATEVER and swipe left or right until we see someone who’s attractiveness may keep our lonely souls warm for the night.  It’s not seen as disgraceful to hit on and go home with random people from the bar.  Your family may never find out so the whole bring shame to your father thing? Phew! No problemo but sux 4 U, Ludwig.

Beethoven, Mozart, Napoleon, even John freaking Adams, recognized true love when they found it and they cherished it.  Perhaps that’s the conundrum we face today.  We no longer cherish love, romance, each other even.  Cheap, temporary replacements are readily available to run through our revolving door of conquests today without consequence, without disgrace, without any negative mark other than the evident selfishness seeping out of our pores.  In this area, society has allowed too many concessions. In this area, we’ve been too accepting of what used to be frowned upon behavior.

I’ll tell you your consequences.  At some point, you’re going to find someone different, perhaps, you already have found this person.  They’re a constant. I’ve spoken on these people in a previous post. * see Our Ole Faithfuls😉 * If we keep up this reckless, self-serving, so NOT romantic or charming or admirable behavior, we’re going to lose these people.  We’ll have to settle for second best. As time goes on, even these people will become cynical, and in a few generations from now, we’ll be left with a grumpy, polygamous, even more rampant hook up culture.

Ludwig, he didn’t have to settle for second best because he, like his great peers, saw first best right in front of them and despite the fact they had wars, ACTUAL WARS, political strife, ACTUAL YOU COULD DIE POLITICAL STRIFE, and thousands of miles, WITHOUT TEXTING OR LIKING OR LOL’ing TO BIDE THE TIME, they fought for their beloveds.  They didn’t argue over being blocked on Twitter or not liking each other’s picture on Facebook.  Like, what?? Do we hear how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?

I am so aghast at the state of romance today especially after reading how these guys could have literally DIED to be with the women they loved, still managed to write letters, profess their love, and some of you people are afraid of not being able to “play” for an indefinite period of time??? Oye.

Before an angry mob of alpha males descends upon my front door, allow me to concede that I recognize we’re not all romantics.  We don’t all have that bone in our body that innately oozes romance and flowers and letters and that’s totally fine.  I’ve always been the more romantic counterpart and have always been fine with it because I thoroughly enjoy that role.  I love writing the letters, thinking about the gifts, showing the guy I love that I love him because I believe in cherishing something special that really does not just come around for everyone these days.

If your version of romance is putting out her favorite candy, surprising her with her favorite drink, and telling her she looks beautiful, that’s great! If you cook a meal with her or just sit with her, drink some wine, and watch a movie, that’s great, too! If you brush the hair out of her face and just maintain eye contact with her, that’s wonderful.  I’m not asking everyone to write long, Shakespearian love letters or buy diamond jewelry or rent a freaking horse and carriage.  I am asking, though, perhaps in vain and probably to no avail but it’s worth a shot, that we make an effort to end this romantic indifference. To end this selfish pursuit of self-serving interests.  To end “Sup?” and “Hey gurl” and meaningless conquests and fear of real love, fear of – God forbid – the end of your days hitting on loose women. What could be better than knowing you have someone to go to after hanging out with your boys who loves you and will listen to you and make you feel at home? How can you top being with the person who makes you laugh and silly? You don’t have to relinquish any freedom, you’re still free to hang wit da boyz, you just can’t hit on random chicks in bars anymore.

We’re better than this. Let’s be better than this, people.

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The Good, the Bad, & the Grace

Stir together one scoop of broken pasts, a dash of porn addiction, a pinch of an eating disorder, some financial struggles, and pounds of baggage, and you wouldn’t expect to find two successful, loving people on the other end, much less two successful, loving people in a happy, successful marriage.  Fortunately, this is not the case for Jep and Jessica Robertson of the Duck Dynasty famed Robertson family.

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The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God: What Honesty and Pain Taught Us About Faith, Family, and Forgiveness

About a week ago, while perusing the endless list of “Facebook articles” on my news feed, I happened upon an Entertainment Tonight post on Jessica and Jep Robertson promoting their new book. I skimmed the article that overviewed the bombshells the couple drops in The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God, and found myself completely dumbfounded.  I had no idea the youngest and arguably best looking couple of the bunch had endured so much both as individuals and as a couple. I am, in a word, inspired.

I will not deny for a very long time I thought Duck Dynasty was an absolutely ridiculous show — this coming from the girl who religiously watches The Real Housewives. I didn’t feel I could relate to what I thought were backwoods Louisiana duck hunters but I gave in to my dad’s request to watch an episode or two on Father’s Day a couple years ago and I’ve been hooked ever since.  This family operates on love and faith with just enough humor and self-deprecation to keep you coming back for more.

When I came upon that Facebook article, something in me told me I needed to read the book.  I’m a big proponent of gut feelings as I feel that’s how God gives us hints from time to time so I thought, “alright God, whatcha got for me?” Wowza. Boy oh boy. GoodNESS. Quite a bit, as it turns out.  Started and finished it in less than two hours. Bawled my eyes out. Chuckled here and there. ‘Twas a doozy. Bear with me for a minute as I touch on a few of the big points in Jep and Jessica’s emotionally stirring tale of forgiveness, love, family, and faith.

You are not the product of your past mistakes

Boom.  Jep and Jessica both address this point in their respective chapters as they share their separate struggles with people-pleasing, alcohol, and drugs.  This is such a huge opportunity to reach out to so many people who read this blog who may experience similar struggles. Jep talks about his weakness of giving into the “party scene” as a teen and in his early twenties. He drank often and heavily, rarely showed up to work at Duck Commander, slept when he wasn’t drinking, and started the cycle all over again the next day.  It wasn’t until his family sat him down, face to face, and called him out on his behavior that the light went on inside.  He’d been screwing up and he couldn’t run from it anymore.

Jessica suffered from the all too common weakness many young women experience — the need to please everyone which tends to go hand in hand with the insecurity of not feeling good enough.  She had a sucky boyfriend in high school who dug up her insecurities and from there, they spiraled out of control.  She talks about the pressure she felt to enter her first marriage and the darkness she fell into once she finally got out of it which also included frequent drinking and all the ills that come out of falling into the wrong crowd. Eventually, she found God as a foundation to build herself back up, pull herself out of the funk, and realized she deserved the love Jep had to offer her.

When I read these chapters, I couldn’t help but just cry.  I cried for them, I cried for people who experience that feeling, and I cried for myself because I knew too well the feeling they were describing.  When you’ve made mistakes and allow yourself to fall into these dark periods, you start to feel like you’ll never be good enough.  You’ll never deserve the life you’d always imagined for yourself.  You beat yourself up, push away any goodness, and medicate with whatever vice you choose: alcohol, drugs, meaningless flings, etc. What I loved so much about reading this book is time and time again, Jep and Jessica reiterate that you don’t end where your mistakes begin because SPOILER ALERT: you’re a child of God.

As a child of God, you’re already forgiven, and you’re most certainly loved.  When we get lost, we tend to turn to worldly things to numb the pain or avoid dealing with the issue instead of turning to God or even to those who love us.  We drink ourselves into oblivion, we fill that hole with parties or other meaningless distractions, we wall up our hearts, instead of just saying, “Hey there, God, I’m struggling down here. I could use your help.”

 “I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate. I want to do the things that are good, but I do not do them. I do not do the things I want to do, but I do the bad things I do not want to do. Who will save me from this body that brings death? I thank God for saving me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:15-24)

So, you see, maybe you screwed up…maybe you’ve screwed up a lot.  Maybe you hurt people you love, maybe you can’t seem to pull yourself out of a funk.  The remarkable, wonderful, CRAZY thing about that is you’re already forgiven by the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. Like, what?? If you can’t get it together, ask for help.  Go to the Lord, go to someone you trust, but goodness, GO ASK. You’re not the product of your mistakes, you’re destined for greatness.  You were created TO BE GREAT. Don’t tell yourself otherwise.

Forgiveness can pretty much solve anything

Unfortunately, forgiveness is hard, however, without forgiveness, love can’t exist, it can’t thrive.  There were parts of Jep and Jessica’s respective pasts that hurt the other and put a strain on their relationship, even from the beginning.  He struggled with jealousy over guys Jessica had dated and she struggled with the fallout from that jealousy.  Eventually, she discovered his porn addiction and struggled to forgive him for that, too.  We’re a messy, selfish, flawed species, us human beings, and we tend to hurt the people we love.  It’s illogical and plainly, dumb, but luckily, thanks be to the Big Man, we have the power to repent and to forgive.

Forgiving others allows us to make more room in our hearts to love them but even more than that, when we forgive ourselves, it makes a whole lot more room to love ourselves which, strangely, allows us to love others better.  *See below*

Follow your heart

As Jep and Jessica began to fall in love, they realized there was a lot of baggage and emotional scarring on both sides that was going to make their relationship harder than most.  People in Jep’s life urged him to rethink a relationship with Jessica because of her past mistakes.  As anybody would, Jep couldn’t help but rethink the relationship but couldn’t shake the feeling in his heart that this was the gal for him.  He had her right in front of him but any logic, any earthly reasoning pointed him the other way so what did he do?  Looking for help, Jep went to his father, good ole Phil.  Phil’s response?

“Jessica has a lot of baggage. That road is going to be a little bit harder for you.  But since she is a child of God Almighty, she is forgiven.  If you love her, then that is the road you should take.  She is forgiven, and her sins have been washed clean by the blood of Christ.”

W-O-W.

Not to give away any obvious ending but Jep ended up following his heart and choosing the girl from town.  When you turn away from God, you tend to stop believing in miracles and you start doubting anything that you can’t explain.  I think that’s why I harp on following your heart so much.  Anything you choose to do as a result of following your heart will rarely make sense and will be nearly impossible to explain to someone who can’t understand but more times than not, those inexplicable decisions tend to be the most magical.  They allow you to feel the deepest of emotions and it’s quite an experience.

I believe in the magic of miracles because I believe in God.  It isn’t logic, I can’t use reasoning or science to explain it but those feelings you get in your heart, the ones you can’t shake, those are hints. They defy logic and leave you asking questions and saying things like, “How is that even possible? It’s too hard. There are too many obstacles, too many issues,” but that’s the thing about God.  He doesn’t make a whole lot of logical sense sometimes. Jep and Jessica’s story beginning from the start of the relationship, through the baggage, up to present day couldn’t have happened without the magic God performs when you ask Him for help.  So, my friends, look beyond your baggage, their baggage, forgive yourself and others, and follow your heart.

Our Ole Faithfuls

People enter our lives only to later leave them.  Some stay for a couple years, some months, others for days, some only hours or minutes.  Occasionally though, we happen upon those very few who will stay for an unknown amount of time through an unknown amount of things.

Sadly, it’s become a rare thing these days for people to even just have two parents who stick around, not to mention brothers or sisters, cousins maybe. From there, there are even fewer people who are lucky enough to have close friends who have been with us through anything and everything, so close we don’t entirely distinguish them from family.

When it comes to significant others, however, we tend to value mystery and butterflies over loyalty and dedication. The “thrill is in the chase,” as some say, so we often find ourselves deciding between the chase or the familiar.  We are, after all, the generation addicted to the next big thing, whether it be the next iPhone or, in this case, a newer, shinier person.

As is the case in all aspects of life, when you give trivial things importance, you end up making some backwards decisions.  When newer, easier to deal with characteristics begin to trump far more important ones, relationships tend not to work out because you start to search for the wrong things.  You give weight to weightless things, so to speak.

Sometimes we meet the love of our lives at just the right time, go on some dates, fall deeply in love, manage to make it work, and live happily ever after.  However, we live on Earth, not in Utopia, and we are all deeply flawed, messy human beings and so that just isn’t always the case.  That’s rarely the case, actually.

Sometimes we meet the love of our lives, fall in love, but the timing is off.  You think to yourself that if only you had met just a couple years later, everything would be so easy, so uncomplicated.  So this person becomes an old option, but a constant, caring presence in your life.  Sure, you entertain the idea of the right time coming around again, of it maybe working out someday, but there’s also these new, shiny people out there who are uncomplicated, unfamiliar, mysterious maybe, but a chase, overall.  So, what do you do? Which way do you go? Shiny and new or ole faithful?

Let’s discuss, shall we?

Anyone who knows me knows which way I’d advise you to go but allow me to explain.  It’s not to say that I don’t see the pros of shiny and new.  With newness comes excitement, a clean slate, no outstanding issues, but these things are temporary. Newness gets old, excitement fades, clean slates get dirty, issues develop. We’ve all been tempted by the novel idea of something new but it doesn’t last.  There’s just something inexplicable about a constant, caring, loving presence that newness can’t hold a match to.  Life takes you unexpected places but love brings you home.

So, why is it then that we consider ourselves so #blessed when we realize we have parents who have stuck by us, sisters and brothers who have our back, friends who will stay your friend when you’re not the friendliest, but it’s confusing and stress-inducing when that one person who’s always been there is…well, there? It is excruciatingly frustrating when the timing is off or seems off and it feels so blugh, so just yucky, but why do we carry this negative view of such a wonderful thing? Bear with me for just a smidge as I think out loud…or write out loud…write without thinking? I digress.

These are the people who have loved and cared for you for a long time, maybe when they could have walked away.  They just can’t seem to shake you regardless of how hard they try.  This is a feeling that may have lasted years and years so they know it’s the real deal. When this feeling, love, stands the test of time, it grows and changes.  Sometimes it loses its intensity, it’s naivety, but it becomes something more complete. Something more like home.  You know this person will never abandon or leave you because they haven’t after all this time. You’re too big of a part of their life, you’ve been too engrained into who they are for them to walk away.

Most of the world is chaotic because of a break down of basic communication skills.  There are people who can debate and discuss day after day and never understand each other.  This person, though, they get you.  They see the “you” that you either don’t see, others don’t see or wish to see or aren’t able to see.  They see the flaws, the weaknesses, and all the beauty and strengths, too. They recognize when you’re being phony and when you’re being real. They see all of you, the whole shebang, and they understand you.  They relax around you and know that you relax around them, too, because this person here is the one who knows you in and out.  They just get you.

These people are the ones who continue to wait, even when they said they wouldn’t.  You see, when the timing is off, they don’t even realize they’re waiting.  You’re living for yourself, not for them, but you’ve lived life, gone on with things, with them in the back of your mind.  Patience is a huge and rare virtue but this has nothing to do with patience.

There are many times they can’t help but fall down, feeling completely defeated because the patience has run out completely.  It’s almost as if you crave something new because goodness, it just gets ridiculous.  But you wait because you have no choice.  It doesn’t mean sitting in place, waiting for the phone to ring, lounging on the couch, strumming your fingers in anticipation of a text.

No matter what you do in life, who you date, where you go, there that person is with you in your heart and when the heart is the one waiting, my friends, when the heart refuses to let go, that’s when you know you’ve found something real.  That’s what I mean by you wait because you don’t have a choice.  It’s not you making a conscious decision to wait, it’s the heart, it’s your being, the universe, it’s whatever you want to call it but it’s subconscious, it’s out of your control.

So, it’s true I would argue in favor of ole faithful over a newer, shinier product but now I hope I’ve shed some light behind my reasoning.  If you just can’t seem to shake ’em, there’s a reason. Perhaps you should proceed with caution, but my God, proceed, because you, my friend, are one of the lucky ones.  Despite it all, despite everything, that person’s still there, defying all logic, and at the end of the day, loyalty and dedication are going to make the bed, make life, make everything so much warmer than anything else, any other superficial, temporary feeling.  A love that defies logic is a special thing. Even Stephen Hawking, the scientific, logical genius that is Stephen Hawking said, ‘If you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there, and don’t throw it away.” And that’s all I gotta say about that.

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Your WW&H Guide to the Myriad of Republican Presidential Candidates

Before I dive right in with equal parts wit, charm, and intellect, it should be noted that I do identify as a Republican and therefore, do hold some measure of bias.  That said, however, I can identify a looney toon as a looney toon and may do as such a couple of times here. Fascinating that lady brains can form individual political opinions, right!?!

As of today’s date, this fine 25th of June, there are 13, THIRTEEN, officially declared Republican candidates for the 2016 Presidential race. Wha!? It’s a little silly/confusing that 13 different people think they have a varied enough vision for our grand country to differentiate themselves from the other 12, but alas, that seems to be the case.  Many of my peers and many of the people who read this blog have 0 interest in tuning into CNN or FoxNews or MSNBC so here, I’ll try to break it down into some lingo that won’t make you sleepy but may make you giggle here and there.

So let me tear your ticket and hop on to Kat’s Krazy Kaptivating Khaki (this is politics, after all) Kandidate Express and let’s take a light look at a few of those in our buffet of choices for 2016.

1. Jeb Bush

This guy should sound familiar to you. Lil bro to good ole George W., son to old ole George H.W., Jeb served as the only two-term Republican governor in Florida’s history.  Before runnitumblr_nq25msrYOU1qhub34o1_500ng for office, Jeb earned a degree in Latin American Affairs (with magna cum laude honors) from the University of Texas (tsss) but we won’t hold that against him, will we, Ags?

Many in the Republican party criticize Jeb for being too liberal to win the GOP nomination but as the majority of American people tend to lean more to the center, it wouldn’t be too terrible of a thing to have a more moderate Republican run for office. Just sayin’.

2. My Boyfriend Marco Rubio 3771c5e951377f7ce9c497947a2e6cac

Honest mistake.  Also hailing from Florida, Marco has served in the Florida House of Representatives and the United States Senate.  He’s handsome, an obvious checkmark for presidential eligibility. and he has an affinity for 90’s hip-hop with a preference for the W3$t C0a$t $tYL3 (RIP Tupac aka 2Pac).  He considers Pitbull a friend –  dalé – and always has nice things to say about Eminem. Why WOULDN’T you vote for this guy?

Rubio is young, he’s fresh, he’s different.  As his campaign slogan says, he’s running to create “A New American Century.”  Out with the tired, ole, gray-haired guys and gals and in with the vivacious, wonderfully coiffed spring chickens! IMO (in my opinion, for the older folks), Rubio is the candidate for Millenials.  He’s the candidate for tomorrow.  Vote for him. Or else.

3. Donald Trump

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Looney toon. A very rich, extremely business-savvy looney toon.

4. Ted Cruz

Very popular in the Lone Star State, Cruz is the first Hispanic elected as a United States Senator in Texas. Way to go, you, Cruz. Cruz’s following largely hails from the conservative Christian base with the Tea Party serving as his largest group of fan girl’s.  On top of that, homeboy knows how to throw a few zingers at annoying journalists with ridiculous baiting questions.  We won’t hold the fact he was born in Canada against him, eh, however, many feel Cruz is a touch too conservative to appeal to a larger base, specifically the moderate sector.  Stranger things have happened in presidential races so we shall see!

 1:01 – yowzers *awkward emoji face*

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idk

5. Rick Perry 

While we’re on the topic of Texans running for the highest office in all the land, let’s peruse over good ole Rick Perry.  As a former Aggie and longest serving Governor of Texas, I can’t help but always and forever have a special place in muh big ole heart for Rick. He looks like he’d give really nice hugs and I bet he smells good, too. Do I think he should be the next POTUS? Well, maybe not so much, BUT I’m not here to sway your vote (unless you’re considering Marco), just here to give a little rundown on your options.

tumblr_mkanjoaaKk1rirwrfo1_12806. Dr. Ben Carson

WOO! Ole Benny the Wild Card!! Dr. Ben Carson is the only candidate running with zero experience holding political office but dude has other creds.  I was lucky enough to hear the retired pediatric neurosurgeon (whoa) speak at CPAC a couple of years ago and I gotta say, I was pret-ty impressed.  People are always jibber jabbering about how sick they are of career politicians, they’re all crooks, yadda, yadda, yadda, so Dr. Carson may just have a real shot.  He’s obviously knowledgable about healthcare and other medical social issues so that’s a plus for him. I personally feel slightly wary about his lack of experience in foreign policy, but he does get a Cabinet full of people who are experts at this kinda stuff so – again, we shall see!

7. Rand Paul

Well, whaddya know, another former doctor. Before being elected to Congress in 2010, Rand Paul worked as an ophthalmologist. You may be familiar with Rand’s dad, Ron Paul, who did his best to win the candidacy in 2012.  He lost to a guy named Mitt Romney. Lovetumblr_np8eqjJay21rmjly4o6_500
that guy. Anyhoo, Rand is a slightly different zebra than his Republican peers.  He’s not opposed to the legalization of marijuana and does oppose the expansion of the military.  A favorite among many Independents, Paul’s following is, in a word, intense.  I also had the pleasure of listening to him speak at CPAC in 2013 and before he was even introduced, a whole crowd of people rushed the ballroom with almost cult-like signs to get a glimpse of this guy.  I’m personally not a fan girl for Rand, but I’m not the only gal voting so, ah well.

8. Carly Fiorina

Let’s wrap up talking about the catumblr_npu5lu0Qaq1qcy1c2o1_500ndidates worth talking about with a lady, shall we? Carly Fiorina, while inexperienced as a politician, was the CEO and chairwoman of Hewlett-Packard from 1999-2005 (read: boss lady), and current chairwoman of American Conservation Union Foundation, the Unlocking Potential Project, Good360, and Opportunity International. Whew! That is one busy female.  It’s clear she understands business and economics, so that could be beneficial for Fiorina as she debates on the current state of the economy, corporate tax cuts, saving small businesses, etc.  In 2004, Fiorina claimed the #10 spot on Forbes’ “100 Most Powerful Women” list which is pretty BAWSS if you ask me. On top of that, San Jose Mercury News reporter Mike Zapler said that Fiorina has been described as having “polished speaking skills and commanding stage presence.” I have a feeling she’ll end up being our underdog.  One to watch, folks, one to watch.

WELP, that’s all I’ve got for you, folks.  I’ve clearly left out 5 of the other current declared candidates, however, I’ve left them out for a reason.  Some of them make me “SMH” far too much to want to talk about them and some of them I “just can’t” with.  I sincerely hope each of you start doing your research on who you may want to vote for and not just listen to what the media tells you or who Jay-Z tells you to vote for.  He is no more qualified to speak on politics than any Joe Blow out there, so think for yourself.  If you’re not a fan of the GOP, that’s all good and fine, but focus on supporting your candidate rather than tearing down all the others.  Come on back as the election inches closer for some more of Kat’s Komments!